The past week has been a tough one.
I have never felt so torn between what I want to do and what others want me to do. And I've definitely never felt it so acutely in so many areas of my life all at once.
I don't exactly have sky high self esteem, but I've always been confident in my goals. It's not confidence in my ability (far from that), it's confidence in being sure of what I want. Lately, I suddenly feel like my confidence has evaporated. Suddenly, I'm asking "do you think I should do this?", "do you think that's okay?" about every single little thing. I even questioned if I should keep this blog and my etsy shop going. I wondered if it's just not worth working so hard only to face the disapproval and frustration of others who feel I could be doing something more "useful".
For a crazy moment, it seemed like it would be a good idea to give up. It seemed like the right and unselfish thing to do.
But a wonderful someone reminded me that these things make me happy. That it has always been crazy for me to juggle personal side projects on top of "normal life", but these are the things that I truly love to do. And he's right. I shouldn't give up. I didn't start this blog or my etsy shop in hopes that everyone I love will understand and support me, I started to give myself a small way to pursue what I actually like.
This week, my tiny little shop turns one. I hope to celebrate by remembering why I started, and staying true to myself. If you're having a hard time handling a similar situation, I hope you remember why you started too. Happy Monday!
My love desktop wallpaper is by Julia Kostreva.